She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
