I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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