I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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