There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
it's like heaven, but drunker
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.