Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with