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• (954): View more from Florida

  i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi

  (425): View more from Washington

  hahaha how?

  (954): View more from Florida

  its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery

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• (516): View more from New York

  I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously

  (503): View more from Oregon

  you are my hero

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable

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• (949): View more from California

  July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just need some dick and some jimmy johns

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• (408): View more from California

  I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.

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