Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS

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  (309): I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS http://tfl.nu/kfbo
  Replies (6) Good night (3810) Bad night (855)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo

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  (205): I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo http://tfl.nu/nrq4
  Replies (23) Good night (5011) Bad night (1230)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.

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  (201): I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it. http://tfl.nu/v1ti
  Replies (9) Good night (1122) Bad night (3087)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.

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  (281): It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly. http://tfl.nu/y0mx
  Replies (3) Good night (1078) Bad night (2066)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood

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  (617): False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood http://tfl.nu/hdoi
  Replies (5) Good night (3015) Bad night (1099)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.

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  (770): She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking. http://tfl.nu/77kz
  Replies (9) Good night (3165) Bad night (787)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone

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  (862): She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone http://tfl.nu/c8bq
  Replies (9) Good night (3581) Bad night (780)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.

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  (403): Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one. http://tfl.nu/ek2z
  Replies (15) Good night (3119) Bad night (829)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.

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  (574): First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated. http://tfl.nu/ljxt
  Replies (6) Good night (1773) Bad night (728)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.

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  (920): Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees. http://tfl.nu/3c2q
  Replies (8) Good night (1475) Bad night (570)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home

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  (920): We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home http://tfl.nu/c2b2
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (449)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants

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  (612): Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants http://tfl.nu/1x5f
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (556)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED

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  (903): I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED http://tfl.nu/wpbt
  Replies (3) Good night (898) Bad night (355)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.

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  (716): I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that. http://tfl.nu/47rs
  Replies (3) Good night (462) Bad night (280)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  SO DRUNK

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  PUKED IN DRIVEWAY

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  TELL PARENTS SORRY

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  (763): SO DRUNK (763): PUKED IN DRIVEWAY (763): TELL PARENTS SORRY http://tfl.nu/g7hk
  Replies (0) Good night (356) Bad night (240)

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