Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator

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  (503): The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator http://tfl.nu/5qfu
  Replies (37) Good night (648) Bad night (5421)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.

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  (503): I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon. http://tfl.nu/wp82
  Replies (49) Good night (5737) Bad night (742)
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  (650): View more from California

  We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.

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  (650): We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag. http://tfl.nu/1x8m
  Replies (19) Good night (1467) Bad night (5315)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship

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  (954): Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship http://tfl.nu/znld
  Replies (8) Good night (1427) Bad night (3709)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.

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  (773): I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word. http://tfl.nu/3o13
  Replies (17) Good night (5028) Bad night (1242)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns

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  (978): I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns http://tfl.nu/xc39
  Replies (10) Good night (5166) Bad night (1880)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.

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  (913): Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/4gbf
  Replies (17) Good night (1177) Bad night (3473)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?

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  (519): Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin? http://tfl.nu/eyam
  Replies (14) Good night (2927) Bad night (1026)
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  (585): View more from New York

  i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place

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  (585): i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place http://tfl.nu/423p
  Replies (4) Good night (871) Bad night (1127)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took

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  (503): I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took http://tfl.nu/phka
  Replies (6) Good night (1508) Bad night (520)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.

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  (325): I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol. http://tfl.nu/32t0
  Replies (1) Good night (1312) Bad night (517)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other

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  (614): Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other http://tfl.nu/gfjj
  Replies (2) Good night (899) Bad night (400)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne

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  (719): Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne http://tfl.nu/cvi0
  Replies (3) Good night (336) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09

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  (306): almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09 http://tfl.nu/v4ok
  Replies (4) Good night (1122) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.

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  (908): On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ. http://tfl.nu/spxo
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (229)

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