My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
