There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize