So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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