At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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