Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
