how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
