And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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