i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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