PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
