I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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