okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
