Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Everything about him screamed your future.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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