My nipple is on Facebook.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
