I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
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I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
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In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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