Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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