If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
