remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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