just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
