Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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