I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
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