I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
