I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
