don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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