This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
