I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
