My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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