I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
