it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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