so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
