yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
