Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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