just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
