real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
