Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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