Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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