oh god the rape fog is back!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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