Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
