ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
