Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
