omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
