I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
