She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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