she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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