Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This is my gift to your gina
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
