It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
