kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
