Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We need to rekindle our bromance
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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