i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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