i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
