I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
