apparently the secret to your success is patron
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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