i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
