his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
