Where is the hickey?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
