I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
