I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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