So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
