i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
