He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
