3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize