i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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